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World's Best Advice for your Common Cold!

126. Repost of fictional Common Cold speech (part 1)

Over The Counter cold remedies

your local pharmacy is chock full of over the Counter Cold remedies, selling for billions of $$ per year.

REPOST from www.thoughtcatalogue.com

[NOTE from Peggy The Doctor’s Wife: this is a fictional humor piece, not a real speech, nor a real convention. I do not know how accurate his data is, but appreciate the author’s questioning of the ethical motivations of the huge market for cold remedies]

Opening Remarks From The 87th Annual Common Cold Convention

Jan. 23, 2013  By Jon Methven info

Members of the pharmaceutical industry, our preventative sanitizer affiliates, advertising executives, medical personnel, hot liquid ingestion representatives, regurgitation and diarrhea experts, our disposable nasal mucous wipes constituents, and, of course, our esteemed Washington lobbyists — I’m happy to report that the common cold is alive and well.

Thank you, thank you. Okay, settle down. Please, take your seats.

Alive and well is a conservative estimate. More like blossoming and fantastic. In 2012, members of this convention grossed more than $24 billion from people either trying to prevent or cure the common cold. And because there were 617 deaths attributed to runny noses last year, the anxiety produced is projected to gross us more than $27 billion in 2013.

Please, if we keep up these standing ovations we’ll never make the Holiday Inn happy hour.

Now, before we show the PowerPoint slideshow, which this year is set to a live performance by the Beastie Boys’ “Time To Get Ill,” I’d like to mention a few highlights of the 2012 cold and flu season.

First, when the bonanza hit last February — a goldmine of three different strains of virus circulating the country at once — it was our New York advertising affiliates who saw the opportunity and introduced Involuntary Flatuhicculitis, a virus that causes hiccup-esque flatulence. The advertisements were shown at two in the morning, when only the social media addicts and hypochondriacs are awake. Even though it does not exist, the disease spread through social media like wildfire, leading to 217,000 confirmed cases and at least 17 deaths. The folks at Pfizer even got a new patent antibiotic out of it. The City of Scranton was quarantined for three weeks. A round of applause for Flatuhicculitis. A lesson to us all — let’s be more proactive about exploiting hypochondriacs through late-night infomercials.

Second, I’d like to acknowledge the flu virus proponents. Every year, you folks convince a willing populace that your inferior serum will prevent sickness. Every year, people pay for the injection and get sick anyway. The next year, they all line up in workplaces and pharmacy kiosks to drop another $29.95 on your placebo juice. Keep up the good work, you sick [*&$#!s.]

CONTINUED IN PART 2

 

112. Happy New Year Mompreneurs (part 5)

Keep your relationships happy and healthy

Keep your relationships happy and healthy

(reposting from my guest blog on Word of Mom Radio with Host Dori DeCarlo.

I will be interviewed live on January 17, 11 a.m. PST,  (2 p.m. EST) please call into speak with host Dori DeCarlo and me about your common cold stories!!

Radio show call in # (646) 595-3163

Thanks to Dori I’m looking forward to a great time spreading the viral news about how to get better from our most popular disease! Yes this is a health battle we can fight together  so call in to share your stories too!

CONTINUED FROM PART 4

 

…your common cold stories, good, bad, helpful, funny or weird. It’s the world’s most common disease — the virus that brings us all closer together!

“Peggy The Doctor’s Wife” — Peggy Pollard is a Mompreneur with children ages 35, 22, 21 and 16, and 3 grandsons. She has worked for 20 years as director of a social program for university international students, is a ballroom dance instructor and competitor. Peggy has also worked as a newspaper reporter and publicist and is now writing her first book on the Common Cold, collaborating with her husband Dr. Bob Pollard, Emergency Room Physician who graduated with honors from UCSF Medical school (one of top 5 in the U.S.) and has been developing his common cold advice for 30 years with thousands of patients in ER and Urgent Care clinics. 

Visit her blog website and get a free downloadable chart “Peggy’s 10 rules for the Common Cold Care” (or purchase the downloadble extended advice chart  for less than the price of gas to drive to a doctor’s visit), at   www.PollardPress.com  or www.TheDoctorsWife.info

98. Who(??!) conducted the study that shows Beer chemical helps colds?

 

beer has hops with chemical Humulone which the BEER company funded research to find that it may help fight off common colds.

….just like the zillion other ingredients that have been promoted the past few decades said they MAY help the cold too (but didn’t) end result is probably that the beer sales go up a bit. Sadly I doubt that ANY of the encouraged drinking of beer will be beer that has been WARMED UP to actually help fight off the virus.

But on the other hand those with colds who are inspired by this to imbibe more,  will maybe get more sleep? 

But on the third hand, they wake up, with a hangover, dehydrated, and worst of all, in their virus and alcoholic stupor they did not plug in their vaporizer to breathe the beneficial warm & steamy air all night while they snoozed.

Prediction: Bad Remedy. drinking more beer will make your cold worse.

— Peggy the Doctor’s wife.

==========================================

REPOSTED from SourceFed.com  and video

Japanese brewery Sapporo conducted a study that discovered there is a chemical compound in hops (what gives beer its bitter taste) that can fight off the common cold. Problem is: You have to drink a lot of it. Challenge accepted.

 

The chemical in question is called humulone, which can provide an effective defense against a virus that can cause severe forms of pneumonia and bronchitis.

I’m not sure I believe that; my friend once felt a cold coming on, tossed an Airborne in his beer, and subsequently caught pneumonia. But perhaps he just hadn’t drank enough. That may actually be the case, because in order to really get the benefits that humulone provides, you’d have to drink about thirty beers.

On the one hand: cold free! On the other: you’ve ruined every relationship you’ve had and you’ll never find love.

Trade-off, I suppose?

Anyway, the discovery now has scientists looking at ways to bring humulone to the populous in other ways. Putting it in food, drinking water, etc., to increase our resistance to the common cold.

Because not everyone’s going to take the thirty beer challenge just to fight off a cold.

Question: Thirty beers, huh?

efednews.com/beer-can-fight-off-the-common-cold/