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World's Best Advice for your Common Cold!

126. Repost of fictional Common Cold speech (part 1)

Over The Counter cold remedies

your local pharmacy is chock full of over the Counter Cold remedies, selling for billions of $$ per year.

REPOST from www.thoughtcatalogue.com

[NOTE from Peggy The Doctor’s Wife: this is a fictional humor piece, not a real speech, nor a real convention. I do not know how accurate his data is, but appreciate the author’s questioning of the ethical motivations of the huge market for cold remedies]

Opening Remarks From The 87th Annual Common Cold Convention

Jan. 23, 2013  By Jon Methven info

Members of the pharmaceutical industry, our preventative sanitizer affiliates, advertising executives, medical personnel, hot liquid ingestion representatives, regurgitation and diarrhea experts, our disposable nasal mucous wipes constituents, and, of course, our esteemed Washington lobbyists — I’m happy to report that the common cold is alive and well.

Thank you, thank you. Okay, settle down. Please, take your seats.

Alive and well is a conservative estimate. More like blossoming and fantastic. In 2012, members of this convention grossed more than $24 billion from people either trying to prevent or cure the common cold. And because there were 617 deaths attributed to runny noses last year, the anxiety produced is projected to gross us more than $27 billion in 2013.

Please, if we keep up these standing ovations we’ll never make the Holiday Inn happy hour.

Now, before we show the PowerPoint slideshow, which this year is set to a live performance by the Beastie Boys’ “Time To Get Ill,” I’d like to mention a few highlights of the 2012 cold and flu season.

First, when the bonanza hit last February — a goldmine of three different strains of virus circulating the country at once — it was our New York advertising affiliates who saw the opportunity and introduced Involuntary Flatuhicculitis, a virus that causes hiccup-esque flatulence. The advertisements were shown at two in the morning, when only the social media addicts and hypochondriacs are awake. Even though it does not exist, the disease spread through social media like wildfire, leading to 217,000 confirmed cases and at least 17 deaths. The folks at Pfizer even got a new patent antibiotic out of it. The City of Scranton was quarantined for three weeks. A round of applause for Flatuhicculitis. A lesson to us all — let’s be more proactive about exploiting hypochondriacs through late-night infomercials.

Second, I’d like to acknowledge the flu virus proponents. Every year, you folks convince a willing populace that your inferior serum will prevent sickness. Every year, people pay for the injection and get sick anyway. The next year, they all line up in workplaces and pharmacy kiosks to drop another $29.95 on your placebo juice. Keep up the good work, you sick [*&$#!s.]

CONTINUED IN PART 2

 

117. 2 a.m. remedy for sleeplessness

My cold progress day 3 continued,

 

Last night I was exhausted but got everything taken care of and in place and did all my personal hygiene cold care, then put my head on the pillow, and slept until 2 a.m.

My insomnia maybe because  I drank too much tea too late at night?

My insomnia maybe because I drank too much tea too late at night?

Wide Awake!

I was tired but not at all sleepy. What do do?

Tip #3:  To help me fall asleep, My mind needs to be tired out. It may be that I drank too much green tea too late in the evening. or the lack of my usual physical exercize.

Hot flashes often interrupt sleep as well.

I need something to soothe my mind to busy it, but not be exciting to wake me up. I find Sodoku puzzles rather perfect for that. There is a sense of urgency, and challenge, and I know I can do them if I just focus steadily, and satisfaction when I see all those squared filled in with numbers. Yet nothing at ALL meaningful that I can get emotionally involved with, pondering deeper hidden meanings of. Nice and logical. SoI did Sodoku for an hour

But that wasn’t quite enough. So I invented

Tip #4:  a “microwave mulled wine” nightcap.  A small glass of red wine diluted with some water, and microwaved to warm it up nicely (but tastes rather terrible ) so adding a bit of Agave sweetener.

Ahhhhh. It hit the spot, and combined with the tedious Sodoku puzzle for another half hour and gradually my brain started relaxing its hold on the numbers, my mind lost its edge and I realized that time to go back to bed had come.

I like having just enough to send me on the path to relaxing, so then my sleep hormones can take over.  Did you know there are more than 70 different hormones invovled in sleep?

97. Can dizziness be a symptom of common cold?

The person below wonders if nausea and dizziness can be symptoms of a cold.

The poor guy already has sore throat red and coughing and runny nose. No fever, so those can all be cold symptoms. The dizziness and nausea can be caused from dehydration or most likely from a virus, either a flu or similar virus. The dizziness could cause the nausea or vice versa.

So my recommended treatment is similar in all those cases, whether it is from just a cold virus, or a flu virus, or also from dehydration… drinking plenty of warm liquids, such as hot tea or just warm water (or any drink you warm up), and breathing warm steamy air, and eating some healthy foods. That would be the best care for both cold, sore throat and the flu, and whether the nausea is caused by dehydration or caused by a virus. Dizziness and nausea are good reasons to lay in bed and rest for a while, until you feel better.

And the sooner you do all these, the faster you will get better, so best to really take care of yourself as soon as possible when you feel the symptoms coming on.

can dizziness and nausea be symptoms of common cold?

–Peggy The Doctor’s Wife

 

REPOST From “Answers @yahoo.com”

Ally asks:

What do these symptoms sound like? Common cold?

He has a sore throat, it’s also red, and he’s coughing. He’s dizzy and sick to his stomach with a runny nose. No fever or anything else.

Answers (2)

 

The dizzy and nausea doesn’t sound like the common cold but the rest do

  • 3 days ago
  • Tres
  • Everything is the symptoms of a cold, if he pukes its probably from motion sickness experienced from the dizziness. I’ve been threw this before. But if you’re really worried, make him see a doctor.

    • 3 days ago